I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
