is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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