Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
