life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
foreskin is a definite game changer
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
