drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
