Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
