i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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