We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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