wat bout pragnant strippers??
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
