508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
