it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
The struggles of a small town man whore
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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