I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
