Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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