Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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