Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Randomize
