So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
