Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
