bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
