Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
