I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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