first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
