You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
