if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I think my moral compass just broke
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