My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Randomize
