used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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