It's like God shit irony all over that family
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
