Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
