I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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