As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
