seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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