She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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