My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
