if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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