Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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