Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
