she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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