I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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