Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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