i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
