if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Randomize
