So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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