Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
