Is it normal to miss your booty call?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
