her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
