Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
