I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
