Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
