Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
