Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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