I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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