My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
