Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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