she was so not down for the gang bang
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
