Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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