He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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