How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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